Good news for fans of warmth

Whilst in the summertime Bowling Pool is insanely warm, in the winter, it becomes very pleasant indeed. It made a nice change from the freezing cycle yesterday to splash into what I currently believe to be a pool of molten lava dyed blue.

Anyway, a quick blast of crawl to blow off the cobwebs (800m in approx. 20mins, not scientifically tested or owt), and home to eat everything with a use by date of today (clue: it was lots).

Hm, funny how I have a training schedule that goes up to December 27 2009, but I don't know what I'll be doing for the rest of this week...is there a swim scheduled tomorrow?

Swimming - what a stupid inefficient mode of transport

Who was the first person to come up with the idea of swimming? That guy was insane and everyone who has ever "gone swimming" since is also insane.

45 mins to do 3 full laps and 7 3/4 laps, not too bad for a first swim I suppose, slightly more worrying is the fact I can't use my feet or arms now!!!!

Swimming stage target: - 500m in 30 mins.

In other news IB got his bike today, nothing to do with the triathalon but have to say it is very nice.

Is it cold outside?

Yes, it flipping well is. It's been over an hour since I returned from my 10-mile cycle, and I still can't feel my toes. Thick socks next time.

Also, I'm starting to think about contemplating starting a training plan. I don't think my brain is entirely happy with this.

UPDATE! I have started a training plan. It's tremendously exciting. Don't think I can link to it here, though. At least, not without significant effort, which basically ain't happening.

Brick-tacular

After Nom, the real adult, mended the Corporal and Veg's Halfords monsters (Suspicions have been raised that Halfords don't actually run an 'elementary screw-tightening' course or in fact build bikes at all. We think they're actually a cake shop or something.) I'm going elsewhere for my first service, despite the Halfords one being free. I'd rather pay, as the Halfords one seems a little like a non-transaction, in that if I take it down there I won't be paying them and I'm sure they won't be fine-tuning and fixing my bike, so five miles seems like a long way to cycle for absolutely nothing. Grrrrr. Halfords.

Anyway...we did brick. Minus Fromage (get well soon...bicycle clips on standby). We cycled to the ringy-things on the Spen Valley Greenway, (You know, it's past the metal sheep but before where the pub used to be) then back, then left Nom for his extended transition which involved going into the house, fetching the bike lock, etc. The run didn't feel too bad at first, despite the fact that against me, snail's pace is actually an improvement. (No seriously; walking is faster. I've measured my speed against real snails.) But then, as the Corporal overtook me shouting 'Sprinting! Sprinting!' I remembered that we forgot to take off our helmets in the excitement of the transition.

Note to self: check whether Ilkley's triathlon allows laughter breaks.

Cramp while swimming - it's bad

That is all.

(still, 500m in 14 mins isn't the end of the world)

I've cycled 17 miles today. Am I insane? Probably. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

Raced Nom down to Brighouse, with him on the bus and me on my bike. I won! [Portion of story edited because Nom has something to tell us all], then we cycled down into Bradford and back in the afternoon.

My legs felt OK until Nom told me that 2,000 metres was over a mile. That made me ache.

Tomorrow is a designated rest day, not even swimming, Just cycling to work and back. I'm sure that will be enough.

Poor Fromage and poor me!

Poor Fromage. We hold a moment of silence for his bottom.
...
And poor me. I have swum 2,000 metres tonight. It felt good until I stopped and tried to get dried. Ow, my everything! Damp trousers from the rain, on damp skin from the pool, with tired muscles from the duff brain that makes you swim too far just because you can, are a very bad combination.

Then we had a pizza! It was gigantic and (block your ears, Corporal and Fromage) was full of veg and especially chillies! Mmmm...

Nom went for his first swimming session and I'll persuade him to report it later. And his exciting news, which he hasn't told us yet. It's going to be difficult to go to what I've christened the 'exciting appointment' tomorrow and not officially know where I'm going! I think he's almost asleep now after his swimming ordeal, so I'll do my best not to disturb him.

Get well soon, Fromage.

Why are all my posts about my bottom?

Buggar, had to cry off of Swimming due to bottom related troubles, not going to go into more details but it also caused me to have to finish early from work.

I'm a sad, cheesy panda.

Bricks R Us

What the Corporal said. It was all his fault. Bendy lessons tonight were painful: ('You may feel a small stretch in your lower back' 'Aaaaarrrgh, no, my thighs are falling off!') Everything got the thighs. Even when it wasn't meant to. Ouch.

Anyway, the brick session was tremendous fun (hmmmmm) and to be repeated sometime when I'm in a different county. I really must start on the running training as the Corporal made me look like a wuss as he bounced up the park. My thoughts: 'He's running uphill! Is he mad? Well - yes."

Nom fared better than me too: I officially suck at running. I've been told I have a nice front crawl stroke though. Or I can crawl well; not sure which. Much of both have been attempted.

Today was interesting - the motorised Vegmobile was at Odd Barracks and the pedal Oddmobile was at Veg/Nom Towers due to a complicated plan involving eight people meeting up at different times and locations during Sunday. I am about a foot shorter than the Corporal and was nominated to deliver his bike home. The result: I perched up in the air like a flamingo on a bird table (albeit a very short flamingo) and couldn't actually reach the pedals as they got to the bottom of the circle, so it was a case of keep going or fall off in a pile, which I can do quite adequately from my own bike and need no training to those ends.

That being said, however much he may mutter, the Oddmobile is a damned nice bike, despite the ludicrous handlebar width, which really doesn't fit through the park gates! The handlebars come up to my chest and the saddle to well above my hips, so I was probably dicing with death this afternoon, but the Corporal is right - bigger wheels make for an easier ride. It was so much easier to pedal up to Odd Barracks than usual on my own bike, even though I was trying to extend my legs to far longer than they are in the process. So it isn't me that's unfit when they leave me behind whilst sprinting along the Greenway: it's just me who has a Hobbit bike.

Some thoughts: the Corporal's avatar looks very much like Francis the 'bring on the trumpets' bear.
I have a new pillow.
I've forgotten the other thought. It may come back.

Bricking It

(ayethangyew)

Well, yesterday was the inaugaral "brick session". A brick session being a cycling session immediately followed by a run. Approximately 7 miles in 30 minutes on the bike, a hasty "transition", and a run across Victoria Park. Run in theory, anyway. In practise, this means trying one's best not to fall over whilst simultaneously trying to move in a forwards direction without being able to feel one's legs. It's the only type of exercise encountered that's officially amusing, anyway. And the exciting thing is, that it's not tremendously painful the day afterwards.

The Corporal was also pleased to keep up the running with a 15-minute jog up (and down) Shetcliffe Lane. He must also officially duck out of the swimming session on Thursday (he will make amends), due to the fact he will have been in bed for around 2-3 hours by the appointed meeting time, and wish Fromage and Nom luck for their first pool session.

Bring on the trumpets!

Yay buying stuff II!

I also went shopping this afternoon. Nom's fault. 'Dragged' (ahem...leading the way) to VS Cycles in Brighouse, where, after returning for reasons that are not mine to blog, at 3.30pm to buy a water bottle and cage, cycling shorts with a rather disturbing orange padded bit (on the inside!), cycling top and wedgie bag type thing to sit under my saddle and not give me a wedgie!

VS Cycles is our friend. We spent 45 minutes in there although the shop is the size of our kitchen.

No exercise today as Nom wanted a quiet day, but we have had salad twice. And Nom has something rather exciting to report...

Yay buying stuff!

Went and spent my pocket money at Paul Milnes Cycles today. I now have:

• Front and back lights, looking pretty good, and easy enough to attach (which is very important, as I'm an idiot).
• Cycle computer, for which the instructions are in various Eastern European languages, and, as far as I can tell, don't relate to installing the thing in any way. So I basically don't have any clue how to make it work. Which is a shame, because that was the exciting part of the whole deal.
• Water bottle and cage. Entirely uninteresting, except the water bottle is flipping huge.
• Cycle shorts. Now we're talking. Lovely big padding in the necessary areas, and for some reason they go all the way up to the shoulders (in a style reminiscent of Borat). Apparently they look 'sexy'.
• Cycle trousers. Also known as 'longs,' which logic fans should celebrate. Not quite as sexy, but with the bonus of delaying hypothermia in the winter (or summer, for that matter).

All of which came in at £69, just under what I'd budgeted. Lovely. Now I just have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens. Seeing as tomorrow's a brick session, though, I'm betting on exhaustion and collapse.

Sick note runs out after a day :(

I'm not a wuss either. Which meant, only one day after recovering from Veg-blight that I was back in the pool doing what were nicely termed '50m reps' which was Odd shorthand for 'fast track to lungs full of water'.

Of course, being more streamlined (and less recognisable to the Corporal) in my new shiny...er...black swimming cap, the laps actually were much easier, despite the cap and the goggles being too much to fit on my little pea-sized head. Or perhaps I've had enough practice now.

Veg has decreed that Wuss-Nom and Wuss-Fromage will henceforth swim on Tuesday evenings giving her two swim sessions per week.

I also deserve bonus points for going to the pub with the best steak and ale pie in the world tonight, on Gravy Thursday, and having fillet steak (medium-rare), salad and a baked potato. Mmmmm... Don't ask Nom what he had.

Eek, ouch, etc.

Pain.

Went for my traditional Wednesday evening swim with Corporaless Odd, however the Corporaless cried off on medical grounds, leaving me to my own devices. Which, being me, meant going as fast as I could until I was unable to move.

This entailed 300m of crawl in about 7 minutes (annoyingly, I timed it, but the timer stopped halfway through), and 5 sets of 100m at 2 mins 30 secs each. All done in about 25 minutes, after which I literally couldn't move my arms for about 15 minutes.

In fact, it still hurts to type this. Still, I'll be back in the pool at 8am tomorrow morning. BECAUSE I'M NOT A WUSS.

Bleh

Veg obviously hasn't been eating enough Veg as she has the evil cold-thing that is stalking YBS. All morning and some of the afternoon in bed, then an essential-oil steam session and a curry and she'll be back at work tomorrow.

No exercise today though! Just the Internet, and it would seem, Battlestar Galactica (thanks, Nom!).

Dynamic housework

Veg awoke this morning and stepped gently out of bed whilst still holding on, expecting her legs to protest and leave her in a big pile on the floor. Amazingly, despite her best efforts to the contrary yesterday they were still attached and still responding. However, she did decline to escort the Nom up to work - that hill between Nom/Veg Towers and Odd Barracks is the - ahem - second-worst hill in Bradford after Whitehall Road.

After miles of washing, ironing, hoovering (do you know how many calories that burns?) http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/exercise/tips/housework_workouts.htm Veg finally admitted defeat at 2pm and fell asleep for two hours!

Too knackered for bendy lessons tonight, although I have cycled five miles (Cleckheaton and back, again) after work with the Nom. Just to keep my hand - er, leg in.

Note to self (and the Corporal) next time Fromage leads the ride! And we eat more paninis. People say it's all about the protein. Incorrect. It's all about the panini.

The afternoon after the...er...afternoon before

Wow, that was some bike ride...

Woke up today feeling extremely creaky. Somehow shambled to work to be faced with Nom (didn't ride, not aching) and Fromage (did ride, not aching). Bah, humbug. Fromage kindly pointed out that the hardest part of yesterday for him was riding slowly enough to keep behind me on the hills. Well, I suppose a bike as heavy as mine must create a lot of slipstream. (Why was I in the front all the time, anyway?)

Another shout out must go to the paninis yesterday, which were magnificent, despite the adjacent presence of cucumber (bah, humbug, again.) Cleckheaton may turn out to be a popular cycling stopoff in the 12 months to come (oh God, another 12 months of this...)

Anyway, recovered slightly during the day, aided by pie and spiral fries, so decided to have a little run after work. As I have no imagination whatsoever, it was B&Q and back as previously. Finished in 12 minutes, so tired that I couldn't make it through the door, even through Corporaless Odd had opened it about 15 seconds before.

I was, however, pleasantly surprised to load up Google Earth (NEW TOY!!!) to find that my route was a whopping 1.4 miles long! Much further than I had thought, and at a rate of 8.6 mins/mile, better than the end-of-year objectives I'd set myself a couple of hours before.

Hurrah.

New item of desire: http://www.raleigh.co.uk/p_details.aspx?id=976 <--- birthday present \o/

TG-N

I'm sitting down and it is not friendly. The only thing that's worse is the thought of going to bed then waking up tomorrow when there will be 100% more pain. DO NOT WANT!!

Or perhaps cycling up Whitehall Road again. Oooh. Oooouwwch. AAARRRGH...wibble wibble crash!

Anyway, Team Gravy have cycled 30 miles today. This afternoon. Team Gravy, that is, minus the power of Nom (squared or otherwise). Team Gravy minus Nom (TG-N) have done (in order of ouch) Wibsey (Fromage) - Bierley - Oakenshaw - Wyke - Bailiff Bridge - Brighouse - Mirfield - Ravensthorpe - Heckmondwike - Spenborough - Cleckheaton (pub) - Oakenshaw - Bierley - Oakenshaw. Nom was probably wise.

We arrived at the Wickham Arms looking so pathetic that they were obliged to extend the food serving hours just for us. Mmm. Nom nom nom nom. Panini-licious. Of course, Veg was the only one to eat the salad - the Corporal just complained that his tortilla chips tasted 'bad' from touching the lettuce and cucumber (for bad - read 'healthy').

Fromage invested in a new water-bottle to go in his carrier, and a rear light that he has hitherto used for interrogation of Team Gravy. Also, a bottle of Gatorade (made from real Gators) that may well have saved his little cheesy life. Veg, on the other hand, for some strange reason, kept attracting old men. Hmmmm... Perhaps a comment on her advanced age?

Nom was very kind on our dramatic return ('Aaaargh! Ooouch! ZOMG WTF? * insert random internet geeky-pain stuffs here*) making us coffee and tea but being a bit short on the sympathy. Fromage had to get a taxi home from Veg/Nom Towers and Veg and Nom escorted the Corporal to Odd Barracks where Mrs Odd was sending out the Privates as it was getting dark (but enough on that later (hehehe...)

Nom's quiet day

Had to be very careful with the title not to spell "Quite" when I meant "Quiet". I nearly always get it wrong...

Well, I had a nice quite day today while Veg, Fromage and Corporal Odd all went for a bike ride to infinity and beyond! I can be smug that all my joints are not aching and that my legs do not currently feel like jelly.

Still had a mini bike ride with Corporal Odd and Veg up to the Odd's abode. This gave Veg a chance to try out her new new bike lights. However, darkness was approaching faster than the Nom could fix said bike lights and only managed to fit the front light before we had to set off. The reason for the light fitting was that that the Corporal didn't have any lights so he had to get back pronto! We wanted to laugh and point too... He once again donned the head-torch of the Nom's to see him home. The journey was uneventful apart from the occasional "ow's" from the affore-mentioned people with aching joints.

I could do with starting a balanced diet as soon as possible because currently, pizza seems to be all that I'm eating. Not really the diet of a tri-novice!

hum? Morning, swimming, whats going on?

After failing spectacularly to wake up at 7:30 today Fromage crawled out of bed at 10:00. Realising that he had missed his chance to partake in the swimming training he decided that he should do something to make up for sleeping in. Fromage had his first "brick" training session.

A quick cycle upto Wibsey park and back followed by a run around the block and I realised that it's going to take longer than I though to get used to this particular part of the triathalon. After nearly falling over twice and actually falling over once getting to the end of the road I eventually had to accept the fact that running was out of the question and settled for a very mild jog.

One more area that I need to work on.

Dedicated 50% go 'oooowwww'

Veg, against her better judgement, set off at 7.30 this morning to meet the Corporal - again, Nom failed on the excuse of 'sleepy-tired...leavem'lone...zzzzzzz.....' and was left to snore. Fromage, on the other hand, was AWOL. Veg turned up at Odd Barracks too early, on account of leaving Nom to arrange the timings, but this week there were no crashes on the way and the training session was, I believe, successful. If by successful, we mean painful. Veg and the Corporal have decided that 'front crawl' is so named because when doing it successfully you have to crawl out of the pool.

Veg's thoughts: racing hurts. Corporal Odd is being unfair by using the power of laughter to stall Veg at the starting gate. It was a fun session though, until the bike ride back to work. And the full day at work. And the bike ride, not just home, but to Cleckheaton for food and back. Ow.

Nom is banning Veg from cycling tomorrow. Boo.

So to summarise:

Alarm set for 6.45 - ow
Cycle up to Corporal's house for 7.50 - oww
Was 10 minutes early - 10 minutes that could have been spent in bed - ouch
Cycle to swimming pool - why is everywhere in this city uphill - ooow
40-ish minutes front crawl (so called because you crawl out of the pool afterwards) including racing. Oooh oouch
Cycle to work - aaargh
Work all day then cycle to Cleckheaton - aroooouch!
Cycle home with very heavy groceries in rucksack - auooch!

So, 40-ish minutes swimming, ten miles cycling My bottom hurts. Good training day.

Spork

Fromage is a speedy cheese. It was the bike, not his little legs that were the problem. Another trip to Dewsbury on the Greenway yesterday...in fact, Veg had a mega-day, with a 2-mile bike ride in the morning, then the 100mph trip down the Greenway and back, with Fromage and Nom, the human/bike hybrid. Another 'checking Fromage gets halfway home alive' stint up to Huddersfield Road, then 1.5 hours of yoga in the evening. No wonder Veg is in the bargain rack with slight bruising.

None of Team Gravy cycled to work today because it was raining. Poo. No, not raining poo, that would be horrible. You know what I mean.

The curious post title for today has come from arguably the best purchase of Veg's life. Yes, a Spork. How did she ever manage without one?

http://www.simplyhike.co.uk/ProductDetails.aspx?StockID=21255

If you can think of anything more amazing Veg would love to hear from you.

New bike!!

Fromage got his new bike today. After basically being told by Halfords that he should go away and stop bothing them he decided to drop in at a local bike shop. After a very convincing sales pitch by the guy in the shop Fromage left with his new road bike, plus one comfortable saddle.

One major advantage of the new bike is that I can use it today on the Greenway. Now we'll get to see if it was the bike or Fromage that couldn't handle the ride.

Training goes out of the window...

...and in what style. Nom and Veg have been living up to his name, er, nom and eating everything in sight this weekend! A trip to North Wales is incomplete without a meal at Pete's Eats (carb-loading for seasoned sportspeople and tea in pint pots!) but two meals in two days? To be fair, the ham, cheese and mushroom omelette (steady on, Fromage) probably saved them from the alcoholic onslaught that was to come in the form of Nom's childhood friend's engagement cocktail party. Yes, cocktails. With food colouring and Marmite, so I'm told. Nom and Veg very wisely did not partake and so did not vomit and groan this morning. To celebrate, they headed out to Pete's Eats for a second meal, to see us home. That was after cheese pizza this morning for breakfast. And we've just finished off veggie pasties with everything in them. Yes, even pasta. Yum.

Back on the training tomorrow - another bike ride on the Greenway with Fromage. The poor Corporal is at work, but he's probably glad after yesterday.

Sunday Cycling Part 2 - This Time It's Functional!

Well, it's probably about time I kept Veg company on here...

Took Fromage on the Greenway this morning. After a significant initial disappointment (no Carrera TDFs in stock at Halfords), we set off for "somewhere just short of Dewsbury". Amazingly, nothing disastrous happened to us en route, which caused a significant amount of confusion and consternation. We stopped at the junction with the Calder Valley Greenway (note to self: investigate when fit), and after only a brief pause to watch some junior rugby, set off back.

The ever so slight uphill incline set about us at this point, and all pretensions to velocity were abandoned as we staggered to Cleckheaton for lunch. Of course, being Cleckheaton, everything was closed for Sunday, but eventually we settled down in Wetherspoon's with BBQ chicken, bacon and cheese paninis, which met with approval.

The last 3 miles back to base were probably the hardest I've ever cycled, in fact wheeling like last time was almost preferable. Nevertheless, we got some good miles under our belts, in amazingly clement weather considering, and back in time for dinner. Result.

D'oh!

It would appear that there are several different ways to spell 'alum' keys but only one way to spell 'wonky' and it isn't the way that I spelt it in the last post.

Veg has not collided with any walls today, but has had problems with the fight between cycling muscles and swimming muscles. However, I didn't stop to 'blow my nose' halfway up the big hill to work today. Success!

Is anyone else here any more? Veg is lonely, like a pea without the pod. Please post on the guestbook, or if you're one of Team Gravy, blog, blog, blog!

I've had someone trying to sell the association of Crohns Disease sufferers to me as a charity today (valid point) and then promptly talking themselves out of it (hmmm) - that was a comedy moment!

Overkill

I thought we were supposed to worship Gravy Thursday?

No, instead my alarm went off at 7am this morning and I cycled up to Odd Barracks to meet the Corporal at 7.45. Nom didn't make it so far, failing on the first hurdle, that of finding a shirt and pants in time. My saddle was wet due to rain last night, thus I re-created the triathlon 'cycling in soggy pants' experience - another aspect of my training that I could have done without.

Fromage had 'things to do' at 7am on a Thursday morning, during his fortnight off, and was excused. So 50% of the team, to wit the Corporal and myself cycled to the local(ish) swimming pool to endure 35ish minutes of front crawl (aargh...blub blub blub...). I say cycled, but I had a small incident with a kerb and a wall, in which I, as the least valuable of myself and my bike, was voted to collide with the wall.

Exit pool (freeze, brrrrr!), cycle to work, drink coffee and punch ineffectually at keyboard for 7.5 hours, go to local carvery for large amount of gravy, cycle home in the rapidly approaching dark.
The sensible eating plan is on track because the staff restaurant had run out of calzone. Nom and Veg however had backup pizza: SUCCESS. Veg has actually had 7 of her 5-a-day today and the Corporal has had 37, assuming roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and gravy are vegetables.

There are more stories, but they belong to others. Watch this space for such narrative delights as:
- Fromage has discovered what the perplexing bit on the back of his helmet does
- Fromage has had his feet scrutinised by professionals and has new shoes
- Corporal Odd is reunited with FrankenOdd's Monster
- Veg's reflector has fallen off - curses to Halfords and their womky alum keys
- 4 spellings of 'alum key' have been discovered

Veg is cold now and is going to bed.

STOP PRESS: Nom is 31 tomorrow!