Wet brick

Poor Corporal. Enjoy your gravy - you've earned it.

Starting at the beginning - due to the FAIL status of the swimming last Friday, (too busy building the best cake ever from a potential cake fail due to the squodginess of Nigella's chocolate cake) there was a little guilt in the Veg camp. So what better way to make amends than to punish myself and the Corporal with a variety of ridiculous workouts? Whoever heard of a bike-swim-bike brick? (Probably not technically a brick, but still...)

Saturday: bike ride - I think it was about 14 miles and I also think everyone was lost for most of the route. Some giant hills; I'll map it out and report back. Problems were encountered with Nom's iffy inner tube which required a hasty puncture repair and my front wheel which had been completely Halfords-ed. It really was a great steaming pile of Halfords. The route, despite my best efforts, had far more texture than any of us were expecting but was great fun and very pretty, even including a bonus stop in Brighouse for Nom to get his bike serviced and for almost everyone to buy new gloves. VS Cycles are amazing! Said stop however, did involve a major food fail, with a full fish and chip shop, then a closed down stodge shop, then a cafe owner who had run out of food, then eventually Wetherspoons, for surprisingly nommable fare. Then alcohol in the evening and an indoor barbecue: mmm, mushrooms.

Working this morning, despite it being Sunday: boo. Nom was fragile due to vast amounts of wine consumed last night and a very late night. A discovery was made last week of a new unsociable hour to swim: 3.30 to 4.30 on Sundays. Hopefully everyone else is in the church or the pub. Set off with a Nom and a Corporal (Nom on old bike due to another tyre fail) and arrived sans Nom, who was feeling more fragile, had no lights and was extremely tired.

So, the swim. Oooo. I now have an invisible gorilla on my shoulders. I'm dreading waking up tomorrow because it doesn't hurt now and I'm expecting pain. It's harder to swim at Spenborough: the Corporal used science and concluded that a longer pool is harder to swim in, due to fewer push-offs. We were both talking ourselves through the last set. I had serious thoughts about skipping the last 66m of the last front crawl set but pride wouldn't let me.

And then we had to cycle home. At top speed, naturally. Bendy lessons tomorrow if my arms haven't dropped off. I need to wash my hair now before I can't raise my arms above my head.

Painzilla

Egads.

Today was a hastily-arranged cycle-swim-cycle to Spenborough Pool and back. Done in around 90 minutes, which probably explains the total agony in my entire body. I would guess an average bike speed of approx. 15mph (officially quite fast), partially due to the cold and partially due to the closing window of swimming time.

Swimming was great, due to the absence of anyone else (more or less), giving us half the (big) pool to ourselves. 4x200m sets in a pool like that is pretty hardcore, though, and I'm not entirely sure how we managed to haul ourselves out of the water at the end.

I need to put gravy on now, so I'll allow Veg to talk about the interesting bits...

The Battle of Halfords, Part the Fourth

Grrrr. How can a household name be so absolutely rubbish?

I had my first full service last week. To fix the broken gears, the sticking brakes and the grips that slip off the handlebars.

I took my bike down. I was hoping that it was just teething troubles and the bike would be fine after I reported the problems and demanded it be fixed.

But Halfords, in my experience, really are a bag of crap. I cycled down my road tonight thinking 'if I brake too suddenly I'm going to go under that car'. I have disc brakes but they seem no better than properly set up standard brakes. I'd like to take my trade elsewhere because I'm sick of this. :(

Well...nobody else is here (sigh)

Looks like I'm here on my own (sob!) Until this weekend, I'm sure when the brick will have everyone in pain and complaining here!

Hmmm...free swim last night as kind friend works behind the counter. Yay! Swam 700m - 100m breaststroke, followed by 500m front crawl, then 100m breaststroke. Amazingly I could feel my shoulders, and not in a bad way, this morning. I may have to step it up.

Unbelievably muddy trip home from work on the bikes yesterday. Past the building site, on a main road, in the dark and the rain. Everything went in to wash when we got home, including us.

*space reserved for photo of muddy Nom and Veg*

Cycled to work and back today, then locked up the bike and walked up to Odd Barracks for a run, which, we were told when we arrived, was two miles long! Eeek! We're beginners! Surprisingly it wasn't too bad, until Nom sat down, to get up 20 minutes later and discover his legs no longer worked. Well, he is the oldest one among us...

The Battle of Halfords: Clearing up the bodies.

Ooh, argh, my thighs. Ouch. Yesterday has come back with reinforcements on the tops of my legs; hopefully meaning that the tops of my legs will be shrinking without (much) further delay. Smaller pants here I come! Had to tighten my belt by a notch (about 2 inches) over the weekend to prevent embarrassing loss of trousers. This is very good, except that I'm cold without my nice, insulating layer of fat! Had to wear my fleece in the office today: brrr...

But the good news. My bike is fixed - yay!! Hooray! Woo hoo! (Other random exclaimations!) Picked it up from Halfords tonight and:

• the wheels spin when encouraged and don't stop for ages
  
• the grips stay on the handlebars as they should
  
• the gears are smooth as a very streamlined swimmer
• the bike's had a full first service for free!

So not bad at all for no pence. Then we went to Frankie and Benny's for food (calzone for me, meatball pasta for Nom) before biking home - halfway uphill, but sooooo easy! I even had to brake going through the park. This is much more amazing than it sounds, as in the old days I'd have to constantly pedal just to get from the top gate to the bottom one. And yes, that's downhill. That's how bad my bike was.

Cycling to work tomorrow - hooray! Can't wait for the next brick to see how fit I actually am! Although that may be an exaggeration.

The Battle of Halfords, Part the Third.

31 in a couple of weeks. Sigh.

Anyway, enough reminding the Corporal about his treatment of the elderly (Nom is older still!). It's been a busy few days. Circumstances had a meeting without me and decided that I'd be too busy to train for most of last week. Bendy lessons: OK. Tuesday rest: OK. Wednesday run: fail. Thursday run: fail. Friday swim: big old rubbish fail. Sob!

Anyway, on Friday night we ventured over to Nom-Land: Beverley, East Yorkshire. Wow, no hills! We celebrated in true Corporal style: well, I did. Nom and I ran 1.25 miles (admittedly from the pub so we didn't miss The IT Crowd at 10pm) on Friday night. We also ran 1 mile on Saturday night before tea, on the only 'hill' in Beverley. A giant bike ride was planned for Saturday, but snow stopped play. Boo. I wasn't even allowed to go for a run until freezing cold early evening. How many calories does shopping and cooking burn? Swam 800m (me) and 500m (Nom) on Sunday morning, then despite Nom being confined to bed on Monday morning (didn't sleep well, so couldn't get up) I did 1,000m in 100m reps of breast stroke and front crawl alternately. Shared a lane with the most courteous swimmer I've ever met, and also the rudest. Most courteous swimmer was great; we swam at the same speed so could share the lane perfectly; stopped for a chat when we got knackered and had the happiest lane in the happiest pool in Yorkshire. Then Mr Head-above-the-water-and-splashy-front-crawl came into the pool, swam like someone insane in Bowling Pool on a lunchtime with no social skills, but also with more splashing, less technique and less speed. Boo. I wonder if he drives like that?
Also met someone in the pool who had some tri-specific goggles; designed for the whole event. He swore by them; his partner does 'tri' so I'm sure he knows! I think they came from TK Maxx too - Veg on a mission!
Ran a bit back from the pool session, until my legs began to collapse. Also, running on cobbles is not fun. Ooh, aargh, ankle!
Then we walked into Beverley to visit the rather nice bike shop with the very nice tri-bars in the window: closed on Mondays. Noooooooooooooo! :( (me) :( (Nom)
Sulked home, then cycled into Bradford (at walking pace admittedly, but in the FREEZING cold. I honestly thought my fingers were going to fall off). Dropped my poor, broken bike off at Halfords, wishing they were VS Cycles, pointed out that the front wheel doesn't move, the gears creak and groan and sometimes don't respond, and the grips on the handlebars slide off as you cycle, to be translated as 'some issues to be done' by the genius behind the counter. Not holding my breath.
Then home (via Costa Coffee for a skimmed milk latte with whole milk. Hmm...listening? Grrr. I'm going to yoga next! I can't have whole milk or anything substantial before; will leave the rest to your imagination.) by bus. Then to bendy lessons. Great fun - so bendy that we had to use a strap to bend into the required positions, but rewarding. So rewarding that despite the hot bath tonight I know that I'll hurt tomorrow. But I never knew that I could touch my knee sideways on my back with my nose! And tomorrow I get my bike back! Yay!!!
I must admit that now muscles are starting to appear. In fact, with all this resistance training my thighs are starting to scare me! They've never looked so muscular before; and with the yoga I'm much more aware of my joints and muscles, which I'm sure can only be a good thing, until after a brick!

Birthday swimming - the future?

26 today. Sigh.

Anyway, hauled myself over to Richard Dunns at lunchtime for swimming. Didn't start very well, my goggles started leaking almost instantly, and after two lengths the strap came off completely. Gngh. Fixed it in a makeshift fashion, and then managed to meet the first of my end-of-2008 goals by swimming 300m in under 7 minutes (6:45 to be precise). Finished off the session with those somersault turn thingies, which I really need to get the hang of the breathing of, else I'll probably die.

Wrapped the whole thing, including grabbing dinner, up in an hour, heroically. Officially the best thing ever.

Until I opened my birthday present, anyway, lovely lovely tri-bars. I forsee about 4 months of adjusting the positions, roughly up until I get my new bike and get an adult to set them up right. At the very least, however, I expect a placebo effect. And, frankly, that'll do.


(PS. I will get an avatar sorted, honest. It's just that I've had pizza and chips for tea, and it's rather sapping my stamina...)

So lonely, bricking on my own...

Point for the reference.

Anyway, myself and Fromage had the pleasure of IB's company on Saturday for a stroll along the Greenway. Sparkly new bike as well, very nice. Panini streak was maintained due to the Wickham Arms (well, the cafe attached to it, anyway. Nice lattes.) Felt jolly civilised to avoid hills for once.

No such luck on Sunday, with everyone else busy, t'was a solo bricking session, beginning with my first cycle ascent of Shetcliffe Lane. Pretty painful. In fact, the whole session was a struggle, due mainly to the lack of company, I think. Although the tweak in my knee right at the beginning of the run can't really be blamed on anything other than technique (and, I suppose, the hardness of concrete).

In other news, it turns out my lovely new pump is useless for the next few months, as apparently road tyres have different fittings to normal crap bikes like mine. Still, it does look very pretty.

More importantly though, this time tomorrow I should have fitted aerobars to the Oddmobile! A gleaming future of chronic back pain awaits...

Bike woes - the Battle of Halfords Part the Second

I can't get my bike fixed until Monday. Even then they may delay it until Tuesday. Woe, woe and cabbage. VS Cycles have said I'll have to take it to Halfords :( and Halfords say they're busy until Monday, maybe Tuesday. Which is upsetting considering my bike is crap.

Errrrr...Corporal? Are you going to find another avatar? You can do the Python thing without your face if you're shy.

Bless him. *kick* :)

Bendy lessons were hard last night. My back stopped working this morning: not good. It's supposed to make you more, not less bendy! Bleh.

Bacon and buttercream

Best time of the week - the longest possible time before we have to do a brick session. Although I jest, today was extremely good fun, despite the hill up to the Greenway being above even an exclamation of "holy crud" from the Corporal. Probably because he couldn't speak, or breathe, or use his heart because he sprinted up it. Straitjacket on standby.

I can honestly say that the Tom Yam Gai soup, chicken satay, spring roll, seaweed, prawn toast, mini-rib, duck pancakes, sea bass in fresh chilli and pineapple sauce (beef in lemongrass, chilli and holy basil for Nom), Yeung Chow (everything) fried rice, fresh fruit and bottle of Pinot Grigio have been well and truly worked off. How have we created a calorie deficit after a five- course meal?

I have a new wicking top. It's made of 'Verytech Stuff'. It says so on the sleeve.

I also have a duff front bike wheel. Yet again; grrr, Halfords. It doesn't spin AT ALL when you lift it off the ground and try to spin it. Yes, Corporal, even with the brakes off. Hopefully VS Cycles will be able to sort it out on Friday when I go down with a bike, some cake and a pathetic expression. Then I'll be able to keep up!

I also have a working cycle computer (thanks, Corporal; gratitude in buttercream and paninis. Or buttercream paninis. As you wish. Second day out, I thought I was going really REALLY fast down hills (40mph??!! With my front wheel?? ZOMG!!!) but the Corporal (the nearest we'll get to a voice of reason) pointed out that somehow I'd switched it from miles to kilometres. Don't ask me.

Anyway...the tri. It's feeling easier (not easy by a long stretch, but easier), to run, swim and cycle. Yes, to run. I never thought this possible. Although I don't like the way that the Corporal was talking about the Blenheim Marathon today.

I went out in four-inch platforms last night and got right back to my back gate before I fell off and twisted my ankle. D'oh !!

Bendy lessons tomorrow. And maybe resistance training if I bike to work.

These have made me laugh today:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7725079.stm
http://www.flyingcircusalterego.co.uk/

^^ Fromage and the Corporal need to get themselves on the last one - Fromage; e-mail me the code!

Brick - now with added Nom!

Good session today, 45 mins cycling, 15(ish) mins running, just how it should be. Some good solid hills as well, which is great (mainly in retrospect). In fact, here's how Drub Lane (good name) compares with the traumatic hill in Ilkley (Carter's Lane):

Drub Lane (that shallow bit in the middle doesn't feel so shallow)

Carter's Lane, Ilkley. Literally the most awful thing in the world.


And, as a bonus, here's Cliff Hollins Lane, probably the closest hill to Carter's Lane I've seen so far, and which would be a living torment if it were actually alive.

The terrifying thing is, a really close approximation of the Ilkley route would be to ride up Cliff Hollins Lane, turn around and go back down, then mess about on Cleckheaton Road for a bit, and repeat 2 more times. Oh dear.

Still, the paninis were nice (again).

What Thai banquet?

We swam last night. Nom and Veg did 35 minutes; to Nom to chart his progress, but Veg did 800m - 400m breaststroke and 400m front aaargh crawl. Although it wasn't too much 'aaargh' - satisfyingly. Not as much as before. Just the stagefright from Nom and Veg being the only two people in the pool - 'aah, my form!' Or was that just me?

Today we did 8.164 miles (exactly courtesy of my new cycle computer), the first part of which was UPHILL. And resistance training for me, due to Halfords bikes having great parts, but being put together by monkeys, who haven't been trained in alum keys. Or *insert clever word for spinning of bike wheels here, Corporal Odd* ... <--what he said.

Tonight, Nom and I have been to Chino Thai for the Royal Banquet. Mmm, calories. I daren't log it on The Daily Plate, but it was gooooooood.

I was good too, for ordering sea bass for my main course. At least there's a calorie-annihilating brick tomorrow.

Running without cycling!

It's the cycling before the Sunday run, obviously, that makes my legs stop working. Tonight we ran for 20 minutes and could have gone on, except for the fact that it was too dark to see where our feet were going (a real concern on the unofficial bridleway that is the Greenway).

Woo hoo! 20 minutes! It's amazing how quickly this has built up, and also that I'm actually really enjoying the running too.

Thursday night running as a regular thing, anyone?

Problems in two disciplines

I'm not going to moan about being told off and sent to the slowest fast lane in Yorkshire by an old woman because allegedly she was in charge. Grrr.

I'm not going to moan about the bus driver who cut me up twice, almost knocking me off my bike, then totally blanked me when I asked him politely to give me a bit of space on the road. Grrrrr.

Veg has had a very active day! Walked this morning for 90 minutes, half of which was conducted with 2.5kg of potatoes and a cabbage in my backpack. Then cycled up to the mad Monday swim session where we go at top speed and can't stop because the whole swim is a permanent state of overtaking the crawlers in the aforementioned 'fast' lane. Then cycled home and did the abs exercises that have become a swear word for Fromage. They do work...I promise. Nothing that hurts so much is ineffective.

Rest day tomorrow. Yay. Too tired and sick of people for bendy lessons tonight. Holed up in my cosy house and not long before bed...

Nine Miles

It occurred to me that it might be of use to people to know what a nine mile cycle actually is. Thus I spent an unfortunate proportion of my evening on Google Earth clicking on bits of the Greenway.

Anyway, the course I found was from the bridge underneath the M606 (just past Staithgate Lane) to the rings and back. Exactly nine miles. Come next September, we'll be doing a significantly harder version of that in 30-35 minutes. Egads.

Wet bike, wet run, wet bum, AWOL Fromage...

So no Fromage this morning. Boo. We're hoping it won't lead to another bottom post. We're hoping it's not his bottom. We all vote Nom to cycle behind him...

But a good brick session for the dedicated 50%. We sent Nom to buy bacon, as previously mentioned, and then tried to steer to the ring-things and back. The Corporal will do the real maths and see his post for some sense, but we met Nom as we had almost finished our run, and then ran home cursing his shiny bike as we used our distinctly non-shiny feet.
Note: Veg and Nom spent yesterday building steps at a local nature reserve so are allowed to be in pain tonight. In fact zzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

Brick in non-fail shocker!

Actually had an entirely successful brick session today, much to my surprise. 50 minutes cycling and 10 minutes running, which was probably about the maximum we could expect at this stage. Didn't feel completely destroyed afterwards, fortunately. Got nicely wet, though, which I guess will be the defining theme of the next four or so months. Bah, humbug.

Hurrah for paninis though, possibly the other defining theme of our training sessions. Mm, recovery food. Just need several hundred litres of banana smoothies and we'll be alright.

PS. For geeks, New experimental Blood Bowl rules here and new teams here. Ooh.

Training schedule set to fail - extreme rest day

Veg and Nom were supposed to go swimming last night, but Veg fell asleep on the settee at 6.50pm, woke at 7.50pm - ten minutes before swimming began! Then went up to bed and slept for 12 hours. Uber-zzzzzzz...

I'll go swimming tonight instead: I'm guessing it'll be quiet as only I am sad enough to go swimming on a Friday night.

At last!

We (Veg and Nom) went for a run tonight at last. It wasn't as awful as we'd feared. Perhaps we were clever in trying out brick sessions first, so the running would seem easy when we finally started?

Swimming tomorrow night, and Veg is cycling to work and back. Nom has the day off. Boo.

Denied!

Work filters have dictated that I'm not allowed to sign into Lycos to activate my MapMyTri.com membership! Grrr! What am I going to do now for the next hour?

First official running session tonight: in the cold and the dark. Trying to map my run, but unable to get into Google Earth at work and probably have MapMyRun.com also set to fail.

Trying...

Waiting...

Fail!

Question: am I too tight to pay £10 per year for membership to the Good Run Guide website? It looks amazing, admittedly, with logs and (steady yourself, Fromage) graphs and such.

It may be useful as we train for Ilkley Triathlon...

How fast is my bike!!!!

Amazingly managed to get to work in 17 mins today - only 2 mins longer than it would have taken me in the car. Even better I got home in 20 mins and thats all uphill, even more impressive when you factor in that I had to stop and reattach the chain after it fell off!!!!!!

At this rate I might have to sell my car.

Urmmm....... Ilkley Triathalon.... yes that one.

On a further note - I still don't have a nut for my bike light. This is not good as I don't think an elastic band is quite good enough to hold the light onto the bike frame (though that said it did do a good job on the ride home).

Have to take the car to work tomorrow but I see many bike rides to work ahead.

Have I said Ilkley Triathalon yet? Oh I have, well I guess I don't need to say Ilkley Triathalon again then do I.

Rest day!

Today is my rest day, and the urge to go swimming has been successfully squished.



Zzzzz. Ilkley Triathlon. Zzzzz.

STOP PRESS: Excitement!

Bendy lesson companion was ill tonight so I trundled over to Borders to buy a book on triathlon swimming and a copy of the latest 220-Triathlon magazine. Yay!!

Also, has everyone seen: http://www.mapmytri.com/ This could become a habit...

P.S: Ilkley Triathlon.

Argh, gasp, rest day tomorrow!

Today was meant to be a steady day, but what went wrong? Cycled to Cleckheaton and back (with a bag of rabbit food and a chicken in my rucksack on the way home) then just time for a quick bath before meeting the Corporal at Bowling Pool. Which meant cycling. Uphill again.

It was a great, if busy session in the pool. Front crawl is certainly beginning to feel much more natural now, and aerobic fitness doesn't seem to be a problem. Just need to develop leg muscles of steel!

Had a small incident, which could easily have been a large and very painful one, as somebody opened a car door in my path as I was cycling down Bierley Lane. It just caught me, but if I hadn't swerved I would have hit it hard, as I was going fast downhill. Message to cyclists: parked cars are as dangerous as moving ones if they're filled with idiots. Grrrr.

The bad news is that Corporal Odd seems to have developed a squiffy foot, and Fromage is the owner of a squiffy neck. Tomorrow's swimming session may have to go on hold until Thursday.

Didn't make it to Halifax to search for the Tri magazine, but an in-depth search of all the newsagents in Cleckheaton turned up a blank. Will try to get to Borders one evening this week as we want to know about swim drills.

Time for core exercises, then probably a nap.

P.S - Ilkley Triathlon

Brick? Pile of rubble...

Too tired to do in-depth, real and entertaining post, but suffice to say that the mega-cycle (Dewsbury and back via many villages) took place again on Saturday, then a brick today has made me long for my bed. It was hard work coming back from the blue sheep, but the Corporal earned his pips (and daft pants) on encouragement. Didn't manage to run as long as I hoped, but my feet don't seem to be co-operating today.

Worked out a draft training plan which means I'm swimming at dinnertime tomorrow, then doing bendy lessons in the evening.

Random fact: there's more protein in 100g of Mexican grasshoppers than in the same weight of beef. Not sure they're better though...

Another random fact - it was shop time again yesterday and I now, at last, have some pants that give me warm knees. Hooray! My cycling clothes are not good for being seen by cars, but they keep me warm, so when I'm lying in the road having been run over, at least I won't freeze on the tarmac. Um...yay!!??

On a mission to Halifax tomorrow morning before the swimming session for the elusive Tri magazine, to teach us about swim drills. Not sure if we want to know.